I know I’m getting over something when I can finally write a poem about it.

My last loss

After Rainer Maria Rilke
http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/you-who-never-arrived/

Love, you taught me how to leave,

palms outstretched,

my hope, a garnet gemstone

floating weightless away.

Each step,

an annunciation.

You taught me how to bend,

but never break.

Chalk it up to missed connections

in infinite iterations of space.

Our melodies wove in sync,

and then out.

Your impermanence stitched through me,

I spin through cycles of

possibility.

I recall

Your eyes’ vast silence

and I wonder if you were nothing

and no one at all.

I recall

how you buried

your face in my neck,

and held my edges lightly.

I recall

the vast demise,

and how you almost tried.

Your resignation, a black expanse

running rivers through my chest,

my invisible strings

clenched tight

around your neck.

My white knuckle grip.

And I try to forget

how you bloomed a field of flowers

in my stomach, and then

tore them up by their roots.

My colors spilled,

bold and brazen. They run,

always in excess.

Yours withheld.

For all the love in letting go,

I’ll learn to forget the way

you almost understood,

and will never know.

--Alicia (2013)